With each sentence in your narrative, you will need to conduct a careful examination of the sentence construction and its details. You will revise each sentence so that it is the best possible sentence that you could/should have written.

Steps:

1.  Star the sentence that you think tells about the change in you as a result of the incident and write the word CHANGE to the left of the margin.

2.  Star the sentence that you think identifies the incident and write the word INCIDENT to the left of the margin.

3.  HOOKS: If you used one of the strategies for beginning your narrative (AQQS, pg. 29, SB), bracket the hook sentence and identify the strategy that you used and write the name of strategy to the left of the margin. Revise or create a hook sentence. (Homework)

 

Steps 4-9: Revise your sentences so that it uses one of these elements:

4.    VERBS:  Double-underline the  verbs in all of your sentences. Circle the main verbs. Did you use a verb like “ran” in your sentence and maybe added the adverb “quickly” so that the reader would know how fast you ran? Perhaps you should have used the verb “sprinted” or “bolted.”  Don’t those verbs give you a more VIVID picture of that moment in your narrative?  Did you use the verb “said” every time you used dialogue in your narrative, but you also used an exclamation point?  The verb should be changed to reflect the excitement of the exclamation point.  Homework: Choose at least 5 sentences for this step. (You may do more if you choose.)  If the sentence could be made more alive or descriptive by using a VIVID verb, make that change. Write the VIVID verb above the one that is being changed.

5.   ADJECTIVES: Highlight in yellow the adjectives in your sentences. Did you use the tired, old adjectives such as “sad,” “happy,” or “bored”?  Did you add the adverb “very” so that the reader knew to what extent you were sad, happy, or bored? Perhaps you should have said that you were depressed, ebullient, or disinterested. Don’t those adjectives paint a more VIVID picture of your emotions/feelings at that moment in your narrative? Homework: Choose at least 5 sentences for this step. (You may do more if you choose.) If the sentence could be made more alive or descriptive by using a VIVID adjective, make that change. Write the VIVID adjective above the one that is being changed.